I have decided that I am the scary mean lady.
More decidedly, I am about to become the scary mean lady (shut up Lori).
It’s a defense mechanism really.
Plus I think it will be fun to send children running from me in fear. Crying. The mere sound of my voice will cause dogs to abandon their homes and run for the hills. It’s flat here ya know.
So aside from just enjoying having my presence instill emotional turmoil in both man and beast there is actually something that set me off and caused this extreme reaction.
Other people’s children.
I don’t like kids, not even my own half the time. They are sticky. Noisy. Smelly. They don’t speak English. And some bite. But in the interest of having moderately well adjusted kids, I do things like take them to the park which causes me to be exposed to other people’s children (cue the scary music).
Twice in seven days I was at the park with my kids and both times our trip was cut short by other people’s children.
Long story short, little girls (generally around 4 or 5 years old) will not leave Abby alone, to the point where her safety becomes at question. So far I have been nice. I have said “thank you, but I need to be the one to help her” when they try and push her UP the slide. I have said “she can climb the stairs herself, thank you though” while they are pulling on her arms as she tries to climb the stairs leaving her unable to hold on to anything. I have said “she is too little to be pushed that high” when they decide to play underdog while she is in the swing. Over and over and over again.
I tried nice.
Now I switch to mean.
Because my poor daughter who adores going down the slide was confined to the stroller because I couldn’t protect her from these vultures (more scary music).
Consider this a public service announcement.
Beware of other people’s children.
And if you see me at the park, KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM ME!