Fat? It’s your fault.

Did I get your attention?

Make you wonder what I mean?

Did that title make you mad?

It should have.

But not at me.

I talk to a lot of women online and a very common avenue of discussion is their weight – they want to lose some.  Many of them, more than just “some” weight, a lot of women have a substantial amount to lose.  And the desire to lose isn’t the problem.  Many of them are very vocal about their weight and their hopes to be able to lose it.  To be “normal.”  To fit into their old clothes.  They didn’t ask for it, they don’t want it, they want it gone.

Most of these women that I talk to are moms.  They didn’t gain weight because they sat around all day eating junk food just watching the pounds pile on and not caring.  These are reasonably active women who gained weight during (often subsequent) pregnancies and because they focus all their energy into taking care of everyone else, and at the end of the day they have little left for themselves.

I get that.

I lived it.

But it’s still their fault.

I’m not pointing fingers and placing blame on the how or the way people gained weight.  It’s there.  I don’t have a time machine.  We can’t take it back.  It doesn’t matter.

The problem is that too many people have nothing but excuses for why they can’t lose the weight they gained.  They don’t have the time.  They don’t have the money.  Their spouse doesn’t support them.  The scale just isn’t budging even though they are eating right and exercising.  They have bad knees.  They can’t stop eating the junk food.

But none of those are actually the reason they “can’t” lose weight.

The EXCUSES are the reason.

By placing blame with other things, we hand over power and control of our lives to something else.  Some external, intangible force that doesn’t care how much we weigh, in fact it may even be trying to destroy our will to live.  The second an excuse hits your lips, you surrender to the dark side.  And it’s a epic battle that goes on in your brain.  Tell yourself that you don’t have control over your own body, and your body and you start to believe it.

I’m not saying people don’t have problems beyond their control.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  But by submitting to the excuses and letting them decide your fate, you lose by default.  And it’s not weight you lose, it’s your life.  It makes me sad when people give up.  They stop putting themselves first.  They allow the ‘shit that happens’ to destroy their will and define them, rule them, control them.

It IS your fault.

But by taking ownership of the problem, and accepting the blame, you empower yourself to fix it.  Until then, your mind and your body will continue to sabotage your life under the belief that you do not have any say, control or power over your own decisions.

Accept the responsibility and take your life back.

“This isn’t about winning a game, its about fixing what’s broken.” ~ Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser

If you are looking for a supportive community that will help you take your life back, visit Mamavation.

Author’s note: I wrote this in January and it has been sitting as a draft in here because I’ve been hesitant afraid to post it.  My goal is not to offend anyone, and I want to make it clear that I don’t judge anyone based upon their weight.   But as someone who has been there (overweight) I realized it feels awesome to be a size medium instead of a 2XL – for so many reasons.  I also finally learned that it was within MY power the whole time to get here.  Once I stopped blaming outside forces, stopped using excuses, committed myself to change and accepted that the responsibility was all mine, then and only then did I begin to see results.

It is within my power to make the decisions necessary to change my physical health, and it is within yours too.