…that parenting has caused me to say (in no particular order).
1. Everybody has a butt.
2. What is wrong with you?
3. Don’t bite your toenails at the table.
4. Don’t bite your toenails, EVER.
5. Because I said so.
6. Get your underwear off your head.
7. Underwear is not a toy.
8. Underwear is not a slingshot.
9. Don’t wipe that on me.
10. Keep your butt to yourself.
11. If you are not bleeding or body parts haven’t fallen off then it is not an emergency.
12. Chapped lips are not an emergency.
13. Stop scratching your butt.
14. Stop picking your nose.
15. The dog is not a chair.
16. The dog is not a stool.
17. Who peed on the couch?
18. Do not sit on the couch without pants on.
19. Pee IN the toilet not around it.
20. You don’t have to take your socks off to go potty.
Sadly….they’re all from the span of a single weekend…and why the heck do so many of them involve butts, underwear or pee?